The flight.
It was pretty much packed. The majority of the passengers were Thai with the odd farang here and there. The food was great but we didn’t get in fast enough for emergency exit rows, AGAIN, so were very cramped and uncomfortable for the entire 12 hrs. We watched 6 films 3 documentaries and learned some Thai on the flight.It was clear weather over the Tasman but Australia was clouded over.
When we flew over Indonesia at sunset the view was spectacular however and once the neon tropical sun had finally gone down we flew over the most dramatic electrical storms. I’ve never seen a thunder storm from above before and because it was dark by this point we could see that the lightning wasn’t going down towards the earth, it was going in all directions. It lit up the whole sky for miles around and reflected off the sea illuminating the clouds from below and above.
Bangkok
Bangkok airport is a bit like Schipol in Amsterdam, but I think it’s bigger. There are 20+ baggage carousels on the terminal that we landed at and each of those had at least 6 flights worth of baggage on them. We quickly got our passports stamped (we were expecting to have to pay for tourist visas and provide photos but it was just a stamp in the passport and then onto baggage), collected all of our luggage unharmed, and walked straight through the ‘nothing to declare’ lane without even stopping. A far cry from Australia where they ask you at least 10,000 questions, x-ray and search all luggage!!!
The exchange rate was much better then in NZ so I got NZ$400 changed at the arrivals hall, then we were approached by our first helpful and friendly Thai person. The taxis were located at door 4 apparently so we proceeded along through the crowd of yellow t-shirts to door 4. We noticed that at least 60% of the 300 strong crowds of expectant Thai meeters and greeters were wearing yellow t-shirts. I looked like they all worked for the same company or maybe it was just some quirky Thai fashion thing?? Anyway we walked out to the taxi rank, where we were approached by the first person who was trying to rip us off! I’d been told that a taxi to our guest house should cost no more than 350 Baht; this wonky eyed chap would do us a bargain at 500B. At this point my ‘don’t fuck with me matey, I might be white but I’m Scottish and you’re not ripping me off’ gene must have kicked in and I quickly told him where to go. We were in a queue of fellow tourists with luggage waiting to be assigned a taxi, the yellow t-shirted taxi rank boss agreed to 400B (including a 50B charge for getting a genuine and safe taxi) and our yellow t-shirted driver loaded the bright fuschia coloured taxi up.
The motorway out of the airport was our first experience of Thai driving rules. These appear to be
- DRIVE AS FAST AS POSSIBLE
- TRY AND DRIVE ON THE LEFT, IF YOU CAN’T DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT
- LOOK OUT FOR YOURSELF AND WHAT’S IN FRONT OF YOU
- DRIVE AS CLOSELY AS POSSIBLE TO THE VEHICLE IN FRONT OF YOU SO YOU CAN MORE QUICKLY TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ANY MISTAKE THEY MIGHT MAKE
And apart from that there’s a kind of ‘every man for himself’ philosophy. Next to the motorway we saw the new BTS sky train line being constructed, which leads out from the centre of town to the airport. It was quite an impressive piece of engineering. It was juxtaposed by the shanty town style housing below. What looked like Muscovite concrete housing, with its structural integrity on the outside and everything caged off behind rusty metal fencing was clearly home to a lot of people. It was literally next to, underneath and around the 8-10 lane motorway and most of the windows were glass-less.
Our hotel was out of the centre of town, away from the touristy area of Khao San Rd where it seems ALL backpackers stay. We were in the Saphan Kwai district, north of the city centre but not too far from the BTS line. Down a dark little lane which didn’t look very promising. The entrance gate opened out to a huge courtyard with beautiful little Buddha statues in the various pools and waterfalls, all surrounded by Jasmine and Frangipani trees. We were taken up to our double room (with ‘healthy Thai style mattresses’ i.e. planks) and advised that the bar was still open but the restaurant was closed. We asked about the yellow t-shirt fashion thing and were quickly advised that due to the 80th birthday celebrations for The Dear King Bhumibol Adulyadej on December the 5th his loyal subjects were wearing yellow to show their love for him. Indeed we found that the majority of Thai people were wearing yellow, the streets were lined with billboards and posters of The King and Queen as well as flags and there will be huge celebration over the coming days.
By this point we’d been up for 22 hours, we were tired, disorientated and hot and our watches said it was only 11pm. We had a couple of Singahs and went to bed. The air con in the room was a blessing and well worth the extra 100B a night.
Day 1 Monday 3rd Dec
On Monday morning we were awake at about 6am as our body clocks were obviously out of sync. We had breakfast of fresh fruit, muesli with dried banana chips and toast. We planned on heading into town on the BTS sky train, taking a boat up the Chao Praya river from the main terminal to see some of the temples and Khao San Rd area.
The BTS station isn’t very far away and it was an interesting walk through the morning traffic. Already there were food stalls in every lane selling everything from fried crickets and cockroaches to barbecued bananas in sticky coconut syrup and skewered octopus tentacle satay. The combination of smells was overpowering. Add into that the sweet but unpleasant stench of durian fruit (I think it’s like a combination of melon/passion fruit and sewage) and the appalling smog of central Bangkok and it was quite a wake-up call for my first day in Asia.
We found the sky train station (it’s not too hard as long as you can see through the smog to the nearest motorway sized road on stilts) and bought all day passes. There are only 2 BTS lines in Bangkok so far and one subway line so it’s pretty easy to navigate. We got off in the centre and asked in a tourist info office about where they recommend we go. On their recommendation we headed south on the BTS to the central pier, jumped on the Chao Praya express tourist boat and chugged up the filthy river, past various embassies, 5 star hotels and ancient temples where we got off at Wat Arun Ratcha Wararam. We had to cross the river in a ferry to get to this huge and ornate temple. We sat next to the internal exhaust pipe as there wasn’t a lot of other space. Surprisingly I saw quite a few fish in the muddy brown polluted waters. Just quick glimpse of them as they came to the surface, presumably to breath as there can’t be anything keeping them alive in that river. The other reason I was shocked to see fish is simply that they must find it impossible to find space! The water is filled with litter and there are literally thousands of other boats from enormous black river barges, to the streamlined and brightly striped long boats, with their enormous V6 car engines nailed onto the back with makeshift driveshafts extended by about 7 feet out of the back into the water. These are on a kind of hinge system which means that they sit in the top 5 inches of water and can spray it for a boats length in their wake. The black fumes they spew out are unreal and it’s easy to see where the shocking air quality comes from. As my first taste of Asia and Daf’s first visit back in 15 years we couldn’t help but worry that if the rest of this massive and ever expanding continent has this much disregard for the environment, the world is in trouble.
Wat Arun was magnificent. The inside of the temple was ornately bejewelled with gold leaf, intricate ceramic tile designs, chandeliers and bright scarlet paint. The Buddha was surrounded by the customary gifts including marigolds (which I think he’s supposed to eat) and incense. We looked around the gardens, including a beautiful pagoda, guarded by two 20 foot moustached soldiers, and several little gardens with carvings and statues. Back over the river in the little ferry and we found the Wat Pra Chetuphon temple and grounds. Inside one of the central temples was the enormous and jaw-dropping ‘reclining Buddha’ which was also surrounded by a swarming mass of tourist groups from Spain, Japan and India. We queued up to remove our shoes and cover ourselves as necessary before trouping around the gigantic, relaxed golden effigy. Trying to get the whole statue into one frame is near enough impossible from anywhere but the head or the feet. It sits between two rows of pillars in an ancient building which is also heavily decorated with ornate tile work, laquerwork, carving, mother of pearl inlay and painting. It was quite breathtaking – and I’m not one for the whole ‘temple’ thing!!!
From Wat Phra we got our first tuk tuk. We wanted to get to Khao San rd. We reckoned it should be no more than 60B. We were approached by 3 loud little drivers all shouting for our attention.
200B!!
You must be joking we said!! 50B is all you’re getting!!
No way, we were told, it’s 200B to Khao San rd.
50B or nothing we replied.
A few seconds of calculation and we agreed to 50B to Khao San rd but we had to go to a fashion house first?? OK, we thought, we can look at some clothes then go the Khao San.The fashion houses around Bangkok pay the tuk tuk drivers with free fuel for every farang tourist that they bring through their doors. Once in the Manhattan tailoring shop, we were accosted by 3 dapper Indian fellows all happy to show is their silks, cottons, linens and weaves. To make this brief, we basically agreed to each having a suit, spare trousers and 2 shirts made to measure. They were intimidating, pushy and clearly just out for our money. We sholdn't have been so stupid to fall for their scripted sales pitch, but we did. BE WARNED!! On the other hand, Daf and I both have difficulty getting suits to fit as we are both above average height. We also both need suits to attend job interviews in once we get back to the UK and had intended to get suits made anyway. Once we had finished our measuring, paid the deposit and agreed to go back the next day for first fitting we got back in the tuk tuk where our driver told us he would take us to look at some jewellery. NO, we replied, we are going to Khao San rd and nowhere else. He drove us back across town in the crazy and suicidal Bangkok traffic to Khao San and we paid him 50B. The trip had actually cost us 28,050B, including suits.
Khao San is really just a road full of people who want your money, tailoring shops, travel shops, pirated cd
and cassette stalls, nasty souvenir shops, familiar bar and restaurant chains and 7elevens. Dotted along the roads in this area are several street vendors selling nothing apart from Pad Thai. Pad Thai is nice, don’t get me wrong, but if you stay in Khao San rd and eat there you’re not likely to see or try much else as it’s everywhere!! We had some Pad Thai, it was very good.
On our way from Khao San back to the river to catch a boat back down town we were stopped by a friendly Thai chap who gave us directions, not to the river, but to see a giant gold Buddha at Wat Inthara Wihan and a lucky Buddha at Wat Sommannanam Borrihan. He told us a tuk tuk driver would take us to all of these places then to the pier for only 20B as today was a special holiday and the only day in the year that they were all open! Great we said, just to make him go away, as we just wanted to go back to the river. We walked in the direction he pointed in and planned to turned back and head towards the river again. Tuk tuk driver number 2 stopped us and told us amazingly and coincidentally that we he would take us to see a giant gold Buddha at Wat Inthara Wihan and a lucky Buddha at Wat Sommannanam Borrihan, that he would take us to all of these places then to the pier for only 20B as today was a special holiday and the only day in the year that they were all open! Convinced that this was some sort of conspiracy, we agreed.
The driver was called Lek and spoke more English. He waited for us at the temples and just before he agreed to take us to the pier he mentioned that we must go to a fashion house. At this point we put our foot down and said
No, we’re going back to the pier. We’ve already been down this suit buying road and don’t need any more suits.
How about a jewellery shop then?
No jewellery, no suits take us to the pier or a BTS station.
Lek was insistent that we visit the jewellery store as they would give him 5 litres of petrol! We visited the jewellery store.
The highly made-up Thai lady who showed us around didn’t seem to notice that apart from my greenstone Koru pendant, the jewellery I was wearing was made from either plastic or wood and showed us all of the precious stones, metals, designs, workers (only the best ones, the rest and presumably less appealing to the farang morally critical eye, are in some enormous factory somewhere) and then the chasmic store, laid out with glittering glass cases full of rings, earrings, bracelets, pendants, chokers, all ranging from hideous to not too bad but basically none of which I would part with cash for. The most entertaining thing was that she followed us everywhere. I found this highly amusing to wander randomly in all directions and watch her chase me from one cabinet to the other. Daf then caught on and disappeared off in completely a different direction confusing our escort entirely. She then showed us the door. We insisted on staying and looking around some more. 10 mins later she was obviously tired so we bought some presents and left.
Lek was waiting outside asleep in the tuk tuk. From there on he was a lot less friendly and helpful. We asked to go to a BTS station as we were tired. Instead he took us to a marble Buddha at Wat Baenchama Bopht and told us to walk to the BTS station! We paid him 20B, looked around the temple, which was packed with orange robed monks and school children giving them alms, and started to walk in the direction he had pointed us in. By this point it was approaching dusk and the evening rush hour had started. We walked for about 2kms down Sri Ayutthaya rd then got lost at the motorway overpass and were advised by another helpful Thai man in a yellow t-shirt to go left, follow the road and then we’d be there. We followed these directions as much as we could and soon found ourselves lost in the middle of a busy housing district. The streets were filling up with Thais in yellow t-shirts, on their way home from work and eating at the various street stalls. We passed a few mosques and Muslim restaurants then finally found the BTS station.
Of course by this point, after our first tiring, hot and grimy day in Bangkok we were both feeling grotty and slightly overwhelmed. The train was packed and we had to push our way on to get a space before the doors closed on us. 6 stops later we got off the train and tried to figure out which way we were going to get back to the hotel. After a 15 min wander through the busy streets we found it. We had dinner in the restaurant of kao pat gai and masahmun gai with a couple of bottles Leo, we had cold showers and went to bed to read, examine the day’s photos and calculate just how much money we had spent. It wasn’t too bad.
Day 2 Tuesday 4th Dec
It was very hot so we stayed in the hotel pretty much most of the day, did some washing read guide books and thought about what to do over the next 2 weeks. We went out to buy tickets to Chiang Mai, in northern Thailand where Daf lived with his mum from the ages of 9-11. On the walk to the BTS station we passed through stall after stall of fruit and veg, fried meats and seafood, soups and curries. The smells were overpowering and ranged from mouth-watering to stomach churning. There were all kinds of fantastical and amazing looking fruits, where would you begin trying to figure out how to eat them?!
We caught the BTS into the city and got off at the underground stop but we decided that we would walk to the Hualampong station. It was a lot longer on foot than the map indicated but we did meet up with several very helpful and curious Thais on the way. We have found that the first thing Thai people ask is where we are from. Scotland in Thai is Sah-got-lairn so it’s easily understood, the next thing they have all said is
Aaaaah, whiskey!!
Ha ha ha yes, whiskey
has been our reply each time.
We stopped off at one of the TAT offices on the way to the train station on the recommendation of one of our new found friends. The lady there was adamant that there would be no trains as it was a public holiday and she even phoned the train station for us to check. No, definitely no trains. However we could get an overnight bus from their office for only 1900 baht to Chiang Mai. We weren’t happy with this as it’s more than twice what we were advised it should cost and the bus drivers are notorious for taking speed to stay up for the duration of the 12 hr journey and racing. We decided to leave her (after 2 free bottles of water each) and investigate at the train station ourselves.
We picked up some delicious chicken satay and sticky rice from a street seller. About half an hour later we found the train station. On the pavement outside we were approached by another helpful Thai tourist guide who showed us the train times, different classes and prices. She told us to go to window 2 or 3 and that there would be plenty of space!!Hualampong station is a bit like Glasgow central with 1900’s levels of dirt and grime, Dairy Queens, KFC and Noodle stalls and at about 27oC. We found out that the overnight sleeper train was full but that we could either get the overnight seated train or a daytime 2nd class train with free food and restaurant car!!! Far from being fully booked it had plenty of seats. And a sniff at only 1200 baht for both of us.
With the train booked we had an appointment with Singh at the tailors to keep. We were going to walk to the Manhattan tailors shop this time rather than get a tuk tuk. It was less far then we had thought this time but we had to walk past what looked like a landfill site which had been turned into slum housing. The stench burned out eyes and throat and we were sandwiched between the dumpsters and the 6 lane nose to tail road. It was a matter of holding our breaths and running.We found the tailors not a minute too soon and were ushered upstairs into one of their many private rooms. After more free coca-cola our suits and shirts came out. Daf’s suit finished, just awaiting final fitting. His shirts also finished and packaged! My suit almost finished, just needing a nip and tuck in the odd place and my shirt needing buttons. They were both beautiful. Perfectly fitted and ready in less than 24hrs. Daf was so impressed with his shirt that he ordered another 3 for only 4,000 baht. Needless to say we were much happier about our little investment, after initially fearing that we might have been ripped off, we were happy that we had paid a fair price for them and not gone down the ugly farang road of haggling for a few extra pence.
We decided to find the Patpong night market and see what we could find. It was a few stops away on the BTS. I thought it was full of tat. Nasty rip-off designer label bags, shirts, underwear, plenty of stalls with belt buckles on faux leather belts and a few with genuine Thai handcrafts. We counted the number of Katoeys that we spotted and got up to 12, the number of tuk tuk drivers touting for a ride and got up to 15 and the number of dodgy little men with pencil moustaches flashing little bits of card saying nothing more than
DVD-SEX
On them and got about 8 on one street.
Patpong is also the area where a lot of famed go-go clubs and sex shows are. We got some classic photos of SUPER PUSSY and GO GO GIRLS HOT STUFF FOR LOVERS. We saw A LOT of balding, fat farang men hovering around the doors to these clubs and I have to admit that, liberal as I think I am, I felt uneasy, probably because most of the girls outside looked to be about 12 yrs old.
On the way back from the market we passed a lot more food stalls and bought some delicious little coconut pancakes which had either sweet corn or spring onion in them and were cooked in little cups like those little Dutch pancakes. We saw quite a few vendors selling various insects including crickets, silk worms and enormous cockroaches. We did not eat any. Instead we bought some Leo from the 7eleven for 37 baht each and a big bottle of water.When we finally got back to our room and switched on the air con we took our crocs off and saw that our feet were covered in the city filth.
Day 3 Wednesday 5th Dec
Wednesday was King Bhumibol Adulyadej’s 80th birthday. He is the longest reigning monarch in the world and the Thai people adore him. They happily demonstrate their loyalty and love for him by erecting huge sky scraper sized billboards with his image, praying for him at every opportunity and taking the opportunity at each increasingly more rare public appearance to have his feet pressed on the back of their heads as they kneel before him for luck. He has been ill in recent years and as such has played a less visible role in the Thai people’s lives, so the auspicious occasion of his 8th birthday in his 61st year as the King of Siam, is a huge event for them.All day long there were announcements and proclamations, most restaurants and shops were shut and huge firework parties were held in the country’s main cities. When we went out for dinner that evening, after another day languishing in the unbearable dirty heat, every eatery that was open had live coverage of the monk’s prayer for him beamed towards happy and expectant faces.
After dinner we wandered around the streets and explored the enormous supermarket BIG C. Outside on the street hundreds of Thai men, women and children all dressed in their yellow t-shirts gathered around a television and shrine lighting candles and watching his every move.
Day 4 Thursday 6th Dec
Sunrise over Bangkok at 6.30am was spectacular. On our way through the city to Hualampong train station to catch the 12hr train to Chiang Mai we passed along the toll road. The sun was like a huge organic egg yolk slowly moving up through the smog stained pink morning sky, getting higher and brighter, each sky –scraper we passed.
We arrived at the station earlier then we thought we might so stocked up on some fresh fruit from a vendor but not much more as there was free food on the train. At 8am everything stopped. People stopped walking. Tellers stopped selling at the ticket windows and the national anthem piped out of tinny little speakers while every loyal Thai within earshot stood proudly to attention. The anthem sounded not unlike the Disney mouse orchestra and it dragged on for 3 or 4 verses but even the very old and very young stood still and listened.
At 8.30 we boarded the train. Our seats were of the 2nd class high speed train variety, the train was obviously an ex-Russian/Chinese model as it was nothing if not utilitarian. It took over an hour just to get out of Bangkok. The train rattled and shook left to right and up and down at every hiccup in the line and seemed to stop for wandering yokels and chickens on the line. Lunch consisted of a firey but fragrant red chicken curry with a generous portion of jasmine rice, a hardboiled egg and a cup of coke. We also had a morning and afternoon snack of a puff pastry curried pork snack and some kind of red fruit and nut bun.
Once finally outside the big city, we chugged through endless paddy fields for 4 or 5 hours until we reached Bandan. The countryside immediately changed to a more rugged mountainous jungle country. From our VERY basic ‘Rough Guides’ map of Thailand we could see that we were more than 2/3 of the way to Chiang Mai. We were half way through our journey time so maybe we’d arrive early?! It was not to be. For the next 5 hours we slowly crept over rickety bridges, through dismal tunnels and dense jungle undergrowth and around winding mountainside tracks.
As the sun set our view diminished and soon all we could see was villagers on mopeds and occasional fluorescent street lights. When we finally reached Chiang Mai we were right on time. As soon as the train-load of farang stepped onto the platform we were approached on all sides by tuk tuk drivers, songthaew drivers, tour organisers, hotel owners and children selling things. All shouting for our attention and each trying to shout louder than the next.We found the address of our guesthouse on the internet booth and got the last tuk tuk for 100B with all of our baggage loaded on our knees. It was certainly cooler but still sticky and grimy at 10pm when we arrived at Thai Thai kitchen guesthouse and dumped our bags. We ate dinner in the restaurant, wandered around town for half an hour and slept like logs.
Day5 Friday 7th Dec
Exploring Chiang Mai is easier then exploring Bangkok, for a lot of reasons.
It’s smaller and easier to walk around.
- It’s got a useful moat to navigate by.
- There’s farang and farang oriented accommodation, bars, restaurants, internet cafes, shops, food stalls etc everywhere.
- It doesn’t smell nearly as bad as Bangkok.
So we wandered around the town all day long. We visited Daf’s old school, Chaing Mai International School, and took lots of photos. We got lost amongst Warorot market and China town exploring the endless stalls of dried fish, fresh fruit, knives, insects, fabric, silverware, pickled eggs and a myriad of other things you never knew you needed! We had lunch at the Bier Stube (which Daf remembered from 15years ago) and we took a lot of photographs.
Day 6 Saturday 8th Dec
Today we took an all day Thai cookery class. Called ‘The Best Thai cookery school’ and situated in the garden kitchen of our host Permpoon Nabnian, just outside the main city, it was great fun. There were 13 people in the class, of various abilities. We each cooked a soup (I made Tom Yam, Daf made Coconut chicken), then a stir fry (I made mixed vegetables and Daf did chicken and cashew), then a curry (I made tofu panang and Daf made red chicken curry with 8 chillies) , then we ate some papaya salad, sticky rice, then mango with coconut sticky rice, then Thai style spring
rolls, then we finally cooked noodles ( I made drunken noodles Daf made pad Thai) then we stuffed our faces with the durries, noodles, spring rolls and some beer before tasting jack fruit from Permpoon’s garden (which was gorgeous, a bit like banana/melon/pineapple flavoured squid), dragon fruit (which taste of nothing but look amazing!) and a rose apple (which are like a cross between a water melon and an apple). We could hardly move. We got a lift back into town and lay down for an hour!!When we’d regained our strength we wandered around town trying to find a phone that worked so that I could call my mum (it’s her birthday – sorry mum!!) but none of the phones worked and they all swallowed our money. We grabbed some roti from a street vendor and came back for a much needed shower.
It was pretty much packed. The majority of the passengers were Thai with the odd farang here and there. The food was great but we didn’t get in fast enough for emergency exit rows, AGAIN, so were very cramped and uncomfortable for the entire 12 hrs. We watched 6 films 3 documentaries and learned some Thai on the flight.It was clear weather over the Tasman but Australia was clouded over.
When we flew over Indonesia at sunset the view was spectacular however and once the neon tropical sun had finally gone down we flew over the most dramatic electrical storms. I’ve never seen a thunder storm from above before and because it was dark by this point we could see that the lightning wasn’t going down towards the earth, it was going in all directions. It lit up the whole sky for miles around and reflected off the sea illuminating the clouds from below and above.
Bangkok
Bangkok airport is a bit like Schipol in Amsterdam, but I think it’s bigger. There are 20+ baggage carousels on the terminal that we landed at and each of those had at least 6 flights worth of baggage on them. We quickly got our passports stamped (we were expecting to have to pay for tourist visas and provide photos but it was just a stamp in the passport and then onto baggage), collected all of our luggage unharmed, and walked straight through the ‘nothing to declare’ lane without even stopping. A far cry from Australia where they ask you at least 10,000 questions, x-ray and search all luggage!!!
The exchange rate was much better then in NZ so I got NZ$400 changed at the arrivals hall, then we were approached by our first helpful and friendly Thai person. The taxis were located at door 4 apparently so we proceeded along through the crowd of yellow t-shirts to door 4. We noticed that at least 60% of the 300 strong crowds of expectant Thai meeters and greeters were wearing yellow t-shirts. I looked like they all worked for the same company or maybe it was just some quirky Thai fashion thing?? Anyway we walked out to the taxi rank, where we were approached by the first person who was trying to rip us off! I’d been told that a taxi to our guest house should cost no more than 350 Baht; this wonky eyed chap would do us a bargain at 500B. At this point my ‘don’t fuck with me matey, I might be white but I’m Scottish and you’re not ripping me off’ gene must have kicked in and I quickly told him where to go. We were in a queue of fellow tourists with luggage waiting to be assigned a taxi, the yellow t-shirted taxi rank boss agreed to 400B (including a 50B charge for getting a genuine and safe taxi) and our yellow t-shirted driver loaded the bright fuschia coloured taxi up.
The motorway out of the airport was our first experience of Thai driving rules. These appear to be
- DRIVE AS FAST AS POSSIBLE
- TRY AND DRIVE ON THE LEFT, IF YOU CAN’T DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT
- LOOK OUT FOR YOURSELF AND WHAT’S IN FRONT OF YOU
- DRIVE AS CLOSELY AS POSSIBLE TO THE VEHICLE IN FRONT OF YOU SO YOU CAN MORE QUICKLY TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ANY MISTAKE THEY MIGHT MAKE
And apart from that there’s a kind of ‘every man for himself’ philosophy. Next to the motorway we saw the new BTS sky train line being constructed, which leads out from the centre of town to the airport. It was quite an impressive piece of engineering. It was juxtaposed by the shanty town style housing below. What looked like Muscovite concrete housing, with its structural integrity on the outside and everything caged off behind rusty metal fencing was clearly home to a lot of people. It was literally next to, underneath and around the 8-10 lane motorway and most of the windows were glass-less.
Our hotel was out of the centre of town, away from the touristy area of Khao San Rd where it seems ALL backpackers stay. We were in the Saphan Kwai district, north of the city centre but not too far from the BTS line. Down a dark little lane which didn’t look very promising. The entrance gate opened out to a huge courtyard with beautiful little Buddha statues in the various pools and waterfalls, all surrounded by Jasmine and Frangipani trees. We were taken up to our double room (with ‘healthy Thai style mattresses’ i.e. planks) and advised that the bar was still open but the restaurant was closed. We asked about the yellow t-shirt fashion thing and were quickly advised that due to the 80th birthday celebrations for The Dear King Bhumibol Adulyadej on December the 5th his loyal subjects were wearing yellow to show their love for him. Indeed we found that the majority of Thai people were wearing yellow, the streets were lined with billboards and posters of The King and Queen as well as flags and there will be huge celebration over the coming days.
By this point we’d been up for 22 hours, we were tired, disorientated and hot and our watches said it was only 11pm. We had a couple of Singahs and went to bed. The air con in the room was a blessing and well worth the extra 100B a night.
Day 1 Monday 3rd Dec
On Monday morning we were awake at about 6am as our body clocks were obviously out of sync. We had breakfast of fresh fruit, muesli with dried banana chips and toast. We planned on heading into town on the BTS sky train, taking a boat up the Chao Praya river from the main terminal to see some of the temples and Khao San Rd area.
The BTS station isn’t very far away and it was an interesting walk through the morning traffic. Already there were food stalls in every lane selling everything from fried crickets and cockroaches to barbecued bananas in sticky coconut syrup and skewered octopus tentacle satay. The combination of smells was overpowering. Add into that the sweet but unpleasant stench of durian fruit (I think it’s like a combination of melon/passion fruit and sewage) and the appalling smog of central Bangkok and it was quite a wake-up call for my first day in Asia.
We found the sky train station (it’s not too hard as long as you can see through the smog to the nearest motorway sized road on stilts) and bought all day passes. There are only 2 BTS lines in Bangkok so far and one subway line so it’s pretty easy to navigate. We got off in the centre and asked in a tourist info office about where they recommend we go. On their recommendation we headed south on the BTS to the central pier, jumped on the Chao Praya express tourist boat and chugged up the filthy river, past various embassies, 5 star hotels and ancient temples where we got off at Wat Arun Ratcha Wararam. We had to cross the river in a ferry to get to this huge and ornate temple. We sat next to the internal exhaust pipe as there wasn’t a lot of other space. Surprisingly I saw quite a few fish in the muddy brown polluted waters. Just quick glimpse of them as they came to the surface, presumably to breath as there can’t be anything keeping them alive in that river. The other reason I was shocked to see fish is simply that they must find it impossible to find space! The water is filled with litter and there are literally thousands of other boats from enormous black river barges, to the streamlined and brightly striped long boats, with their enormous V6 car engines nailed onto the back with makeshift driveshafts extended by about 7 feet out of the back into the water. These are on a kind of hinge system which means that they sit in the top 5 inches of water and can spray it for a boats length in their wake. The black fumes they spew out are unreal and it’s easy to see where the shocking air quality comes from. As my first taste of Asia and Daf’s first visit back in 15 years we couldn’t help but worry that if the rest of this massive and ever expanding continent has this much disregard for the environment, the world is in trouble.
Wat Arun was magnificent. The inside of the temple was ornately bejewelled with gold leaf, intricate ceramic tile designs, chandeliers and bright scarlet paint. The Buddha was surrounded by the customary gifts including marigolds (which I think he’s supposed to eat) and incense. We looked around the gardens, including a beautiful pagoda, guarded by two 20 foot moustached soldiers, and several little gardens with carvings and statues. Back over the river in the little ferry and we found the Wat Pra Chetuphon temple and grounds. Inside one of the central temples was the enormous and jaw-dropping ‘reclining Buddha’ which was also surrounded by a swarming mass of tourist groups from Spain, Japan and India. We queued up to remove our shoes and cover ourselves as necessary before trouping around the gigantic, relaxed golden effigy. Trying to get the whole statue into one frame is near enough impossible from anywhere but the head or the feet. It sits between two rows of pillars in an ancient building which is also heavily decorated with ornate tile work, laquerwork, carving, mother of pearl inlay and painting. It was quite breathtaking – and I’m not one for the whole ‘temple’ thing!!!
From Wat Phra we got our first tuk tuk. We wanted to get to Khao San rd. We reckoned it should be no more than 60B. We were approached by 3 loud little drivers all shouting for our attention.
200B!!
You must be joking we said!! 50B is all you’re getting!!
No way, we were told, it’s 200B to Khao San rd.
50B or nothing we replied.
A few seconds of calculation and we agreed to 50B to Khao San rd but we had to go to a fashion house first?? OK, we thought, we can look at some clothes then go the Khao San.The fashion houses around Bangkok pay the tuk tuk drivers with free fuel for every farang tourist that they bring through their doors. Once in the Manhattan tailoring shop, we were accosted by 3 dapper Indian fellows all happy to show is their silks, cottons, linens and weaves. To make this brief, we basically agreed to each having a suit, spare trousers and 2 shirts made to measure. They were intimidating, pushy and clearly just out for our money. We sholdn't have been so stupid to fall for their scripted sales pitch, but we did. BE WARNED!! On the other hand, Daf and I both have difficulty getting suits to fit as we are both above average height. We also both need suits to attend job interviews in once we get back to the UK and had intended to get suits made anyway. Once we had finished our measuring, paid the deposit and agreed to go back the next day for first fitting we got back in the tuk tuk where our driver told us he would take us to look at some jewellery. NO, we replied, we are going to Khao San rd and nowhere else. He drove us back across town in the crazy and suicidal Bangkok traffic to Khao San and we paid him 50B. The trip had actually cost us 28,050B, including suits.
Khao San is really just a road full of people who want your money, tailoring shops, travel shops, pirated cd
and cassette stalls, nasty souvenir shops, familiar bar and restaurant chains and 7elevens. Dotted along the roads in this area are several street vendors selling nothing apart from Pad Thai. Pad Thai is nice, don’t get me wrong, but if you stay in Khao San rd and eat there you’re not likely to see or try much else as it’s everywhere!! We had some Pad Thai, it was very good.On our way from Khao San back to the river to catch a boat back down town we were stopped by a friendly Thai chap who gave us directions, not to the river, but to see a giant gold Buddha at Wat Inthara Wihan and a lucky Buddha at Wat Sommannanam Borrihan. He told us a tuk tuk driver would take us to all of these places then to the pier for only 20B as today was a special holiday and the only day in the year that they were all open! Great we said, just to make him go away, as we just wanted to go back to the river. We walked in the direction he pointed in and planned to turned back and head towards the river again. Tuk tuk driver number 2 stopped us and told us amazingly and coincidentally that we he would take us to see a giant gold Buddha at Wat Inthara Wihan and a lucky Buddha at Wat Sommannanam Borrihan, that he would take us to all of these places then to the pier for only 20B as today was a special holiday and the only day in the year that they were all open! Convinced that this was some sort of conspiracy, we agreed.
The driver was called Lek and spoke more English. He waited for us at the temples and just before he agreed to take us to the pier he mentioned that we must go to a fashion house. At this point we put our foot down and said
No, we’re going back to the pier. We’ve already been down this suit buying road and don’t need any more suits.
How about a jewellery shop then?
No jewellery, no suits take us to the pier or a BTS station.
Lek was insistent that we visit the jewellery store as they would give him 5 litres of petrol! We visited the jewellery store.
The highly made-up Thai lady who showed us around didn’t seem to notice that apart from my greenstone Koru pendant, the jewellery I was wearing was made from either plastic or wood and showed us all of the precious stones, metals, designs, workers (only the best ones, the rest and presumably less appealing to the farang morally critical eye, are in some enormous factory somewhere) and then the chasmic store, laid out with glittering glass cases full of rings, earrings, bracelets, pendants, chokers, all ranging from hideous to not too bad but basically none of which I would part with cash for. The most entertaining thing was that she followed us everywhere. I found this highly amusing to wander randomly in all directions and watch her chase me from one cabinet to the other. Daf then caught on and disappeared off in completely a different direction confusing our escort entirely. She then showed us the door. We insisted on staying and looking around some more. 10 mins later she was obviously tired so we bought some presents and left.
Lek was waiting outside asleep in the tuk tuk. From there on he was a lot less friendly and helpful. We asked to go to a BTS station as we were tired. Instead he took us to a marble Buddha at Wat Baenchama Bopht and told us to walk to the BTS station! We paid him 20B, looked around the temple, which was packed with orange robed monks and school children giving them alms, and started to walk in the direction he had pointed us in. By this point it was approaching dusk and the evening rush hour had started. We walked for about 2kms down Sri Ayutthaya rd then got lost at the motorway overpass and were advised by another helpful Thai man in a yellow t-shirt to go left, follow the road and then we’d be there. We followed these directions as much as we could and soon found ourselves lost in the middle of a busy housing district. The streets were filling up with Thais in yellow t-shirts, on their way home from work and eating at the various street stalls. We passed a few mosques and Muslim restaurants then finally found the BTS station.
Of course by this point, after our first tiring, hot and grimy day in Bangkok we were both feeling grotty and slightly overwhelmed. The train was packed and we had to push our way on to get a space before the doors closed on us. 6 stops later we got off the train and tried to figure out which way we were going to get back to the hotel. After a 15 min wander through the busy streets we found it. We had dinner in the restaurant of kao pat gai and masahmun gai with a couple of bottles Leo, we had cold showers and went to bed to read, examine the day’s photos and calculate just how much money we had spent. It wasn’t too bad.
Day 2 Tuesday 4th Dec
It was very hot so we stayed in the hotel pretty much most of the day, did some washing read guide books and thought about what to do over the next 2 weeks. We went out to buy tickets to Chiang Mai, in northern Thailand where Daf lived with his mum from the ages of 9-11. On the walk to the BTS station we passed through stall after stall of fruit and veg, fried meats and seafood, soups and curries. The smells were overpowering and ranged from mouth-watering to stomach churning. There were all kinds of fantastical and amazing looking fruits, where would you begin trying to figure out how to eat them?!
We caught the BTS into the city and got off at the underground stop but we decided that we would walk to the Hualampong station. It was a lot longer on foot than the map indicated but we did meet up with several very helpful and curious Thais on the way. We have found that the first thing Thai people ask is where we are from. Scotland in Thai is Sah-got-lairn so it’s easily understood, the next thing they have all said is
Aaaaah, whiskey!!
Ha ha ha yes, whiskey
has been our reply each time.
We stopped off at one of the TAT offices on the way to the train station on the recommendation of one of our new found friends. The lady there was adamant that there would be no trains as it was a public holiday and she even phoned the train station for us to check. No, definitely no trains. However we could get an overnight bus from their office for only 1900 baht to Chiang Mai. We weren’t happy with this as it’s more than twice what we were advised it should cost and the bus drivers are notorious for taking speed to stay up for the duration of the 12 hr journey and racing. We decided to leave her (after 2 free bottles of water each) and investigate at the train station ourselves.
We picked up some delicious chicken satay and sticky rice from a street seller. About half an hour later we found the train station. On the pavement outside we were approached by another helpful Thai tourist guide who showed us the train times, different classes and prices. She told us to go to window 2 or 3 and that there would be plenty of space!!Hualampong station is a bit like Glasgow central with 1900’s levels of dirt and grime, Dairy Queens, KFC and Noodle stalls and at about 27oC. We found out that the overnight sleeper train was full but that we could either get the overnight seated train or a daytime 2nd class train with free food and restaurant car!!! Far from being fully booked it had plenty of seats. And a sniff at only 1200 baht for both of us.
With the train booked we had an appointment with Singh at the tailors to keep. We were going to walk to the Manhattan tailors shop this time rather than get a tuk tuk. It was less far then we had thought this time but we had to walk past what looked like a landfill site which had been turned into slum housing. The stench burned out eyes and throat and we were sandwiched between the dumpsters and the 6 lane nose to tail road. It was a matter of holding our breaths and running.We found the tailors not a minute too soon and were ushered upstairs into one of their many private rooms. After more free coca-cola our suits and shirts came out. Daf’s suit finished, just awaiting final fitting. His shirts also finished and packaged! My suit almost finished, just needing a nip and tuck in the odd place and my shirt needing buttons. They were both beautiful. Perfectly fitted and ready in less than 24hrs. Daf was so impressed with his shirt that he ordered another 3 for only 4,000 baht. Needless to say we were much happier about our little investment, after initially fearing that we might have been ripped off, we were happy that we had paid a fair price for them and not gone down the ugly farang road of haggling for a few extra pence.
We decided to find the Patpong night market and see what we could find. It was a few stops away on the BTS. I thought it was full of tat. Nasty rip-off designer label bags, shirts, underwear, plenty of stalls with belt buckles on faux leather belts and a few with genuine Thai handcrafts. We counted the number of Katoeys that we spotted and got up to 12, the number of tuk tuk drivers touting for a ride and got up to 15 and the number of dodgy little men with pencil moustaches flashing little bits of card saying nothing more than
DVD-SEXOn them and got about 8 on one street.
Patpong is also the area where a lot of famed go-go clubs and sex shows are. We got some classic photos of SUPER PUSSY and GO GO GIRLS HOT STUFF FOR LOVERS. We saw A LOT of balding, fat farang men hovering around the doors to these clubs and I have to admit that, liberal as I think I am, I felt uneasy, probably because most of the girls outside looked to be about 12 yrs old.
On the way back from the market we passed a lot more food stalls and bought some delicious little coconut pancakes which had either sweet corn or spring onion in them and were cooked in little cups like those little Dutch pancakes. We saw quite a few vendors selling various insects including crickets, silk worms and enormous cockroaches. We did not eat any. Instead we bought some Leo from the 7eleven for 37 baht each and a big bottle of water.When we finally got back to our room and switched on the air con we took our crocs off and saw that our feet were covered in the city filth.
Day 3 Wednesday 5th Dec
Wednesday was King Bhumibol Adulyadej’s 80th birthday. He is the longest reigning monarch in the world and the Thai people adore him. They happily demonstrate their loyalty and love for him by erecting huge sky scraper sized billboards with his image, praying for him at every opportunity and taking the opportunity at each increasingly more rare public appearance to have his feet pressed on the back of their heads as they kneel before him for luck. He has been ill in recent years and as such has played a less visible role in the Thai people’s lives, so the auspicious occasion of his 8th birthday in his 61st year as the King of Siam, is a huge event for them.All day long there were announcements and proclamations, most restaurants and shops were shut and huge firework parties were held in the country’s main cities. When we went out for dinner that evening, after another day languishing in the unbearable dirty heat, every eatery that was open had live coverage of the monk’s prayer for him beamed towards happy and expectant faces.
After dinner we wandered around the streets and explored the enormous supermarket BIG C. Outside on the street hundreds of Thai men, women and children all dressed in their yellow t-shirts gathered around a television and shrine lighting candles and watching his every move.
Day 4 Thursday 6th Dec
Sunrise over Bangkok at 6.30am was spectacular. On our way through the city to Hualampong train station to catch the 12hr train to Chiang Mai we passed along the toll road. The sun was like a huge organic egg yolk slowly moving up through the smog stained pink morning sky, getting higher and brighter, each sky –scraper we passed.
We arrived at the station earlier then we thought we might so stocked up on some fresh fruit from a vendor but not much more as there was free food on the train. At 8am everything stopped. People stopped walking. Tellers stopped selling at the ticket windows and the national anthem piped out of tinny little speakers while every loyal Thai within earshot stood proudly to attention. The anthem sounded not unlike the Disney mouse orchestra and it dragged on for 3 or 4 verses but even the very old and very young stood still and listened.
At 8.30 we boarded the train. Our seats were of the 2nd class high speed train variety, the train was obviously an ex-Russian/Chinese model as it was nothing if not utilitarian. It took over an hour just to get out of Bangkok. The train rattled and shook left to right and up and down at every hiccup in the line and seemed to stop for wandering yokels and chickens on the line. Lunch consisted of a firey but fragrant red chicken curry with a generous portion of jasmine rice, a hardboiled egg and a cup of coke. We also had a morning and afternoon snack of a puff pastry curried pork snack and some kind of red fruit and nut bun.
Once finally outside the big city, we chugged through endless paddy fields for 4 or 5 hours until we reached Bandan. The countryside immediately changed to a more rugged mountainous jungle country. From our VERY basic ‘Rough Guides’ map of Thailand we could see that we were more than 2/3 of the way to Chiang Mai. We were half way through our journey time so maybe we’d arrive early?! It was not to be. For the next 5 hours we slowly crept over rickety bridges, through dismal tunnels and dense jungle undergrowth and around winding mountainside tracks.
As the sun set our view diminished and soon all we could see was villagers on mopeds and occasional fluorescent street lights. When we finally reached Chiang Mai we were right on time. As soon as the train-load of farang stepped onto the platform we were approached on all sides by tuk tuk drivers, songthaew drivers, tour organisers, hotel owners and children selling things. All shouting for our attention and each trying to shout louder than the next.We found the address of our guesthouse on the internet booth and got the last tuk tuk for 100B with all of our baggage loaded on our knees. It was certainly cooler but still sticky and grimy at 10pm when we arrived at Thai Thai kitchen guesthouse and dumped our bags. We ate dinner in the restaurant, wandered around town for half an hour and slept like logs.
Day5 Friday 7th Dec
Exploring Chiang Mai is easier then exploring Bangkok, for a lot of reasons.
It’s smaller and easier to walk around.
- It’s got a useful moat to navigate by.
- There’s farang and farang oriented accommodation, bars, restaurants, internet cafes, shops, food stalls etc everywhere.
- It doesn’t smell nearly as bad as Bangkok.
So we wandered around the town all day long. We visited Daf’s old school, Chaing Mai International School, and took lots of photos. We got lost amongst Warorot market and China town exploring the endless stalls of dried fish, fresh fruit, knives, insects, fabric, silverware, pickled eggs and a myriad of other things you never knew you needed! We had lunch at the Bier Stube (which Daf remembered from 15years ago) and we took a lot of photographs.
Day 6 Saturday 8th Dec
Today we took an all day Thai cookery class. Called ‘The Best Thai cookery school’ and situated in the garden kitchen of our host Permpoon Nabnian, just outside the main city, it was great fun. There were 13 people in the class, of various abilities. We each cooked a soup (I made Tom Yam, Daf made Coconut chicken), then a stir fry (I made mixed vegetables and Daf did chicken and cashew), then a curry (I made tofu panang and Daf made red chicken curry with 8 chillies) , then we ate some papaya salad, sticky rice, then mango with coconut sticky rice, then Thai style spring
rolls, then we finally cooked noodles ( I made drunken noodles Daf made pad Thai) then we stuffed our faces with the durries, noodles, spring rolls and some beer before tasting jack fruit from Permpoon’s garden (which was gorgeous, a bit like banana/melon/pineapple flavoured squid), dragon fruit (which taste of nothing but look amazing!) and a rose apple (which are like a cross between a water melon and an apple). We could hardly move. We got a lift back into town and lay down for an hour!!When we’d regained our strength we wandered around town trying to find a phone that worked so that I could call my mum (it’s her birthday – sorry mum!!) but none of the phones worked and they all swallowed our money. We grabbed some roti from a street vendor and came back for a much needed shower.
