Back Home

We arrived home on Christmas day, yesterday, at 1pm. Our flight from Bangkok left at around midnight and was pretty empty so we managed to get a whole row of seats to ourselves to try and get some sleep. It wasn't very comfortable but we both managed a few hours kip.

We got into Frankfurt at around 5.30am on Christmas morning and had a six and a half hour wait in the airport before our connecting flight to Edinburgh. We strolled around duty free, bought some breakfast and read for an hour or so. It was very boring!!

When we finally flew home the view across the borders and Edinburgh was spectacular. It was a clear day and we could see for miles. We picked up our luggage, unharmed, passed through customs without a hitch and went through into departures where our families were there to meet us.

It was great to see everyone together and I blubbed like a baby again. After some photo taking (oh dear we both looked rough!!!) we went to Karen Wong's Chinese restaurant for our Christmas lunch. It was a great way to catch up over an informal and much more social meal than Christmas dinner. We had 5 courses and lots of coffee then headed home.


It's really cold at home, about 2-3oC, and that's the coldest we've been for 2 years. I got lots of woollie garments for Xmas so hopefully won't perish. I am concerned that my Thai tan will be leached by the Scottish winter...

North to South and back to Bangkok

Day 13 Saturday 15th Dec

Today we didn't do much. It was very hot again, around the mid thirties so we tried to avoid the worst of the heat and inevitable dust and dirt. After lunchtime we walked to Central plaza, which is outside of the old town on the North West corner of the moat. It had just newly opened when Daf left here 15 years ago and didn't have many shops. Now its 5 floors of spend, spend, spend!!

We ate at the food court in the basement. I had crispy pork on rice and a papaya salad with peanut. It was a bit of an effort to actually get the food as you have to buy tokens from a teller and exchange the tokens for the food, which I figured out after patiently waiting and watching my food be prepared, then not getting it.

On Saturday night, with the alcohol ban still in place, we wandered round the very quiet town centre before quitting at about 8 o'clock as there was nothing at all happening. We took a tuk tuk to the train station and bought our tickets to Kho Pha Ngan and went back to figure out our journey. We have planned to get the overnight sleeper train on Monday night to Bangkok, leaving at 14.50 and arriving at 5.30, and then get the first train to Suri Thani at 8.05, which arrives at 16.30. Then we have to wait until 23.00 for the overnight slow boat, which arrives at 5.30 also. It'll be a mammoth 40 hour journey to get there but hopefully we can spend 3 days chilling on the beaches, do some snorkeling and take some pictures.

Day 14 Sunday 16th Dec

Another unbearably hot day. We walked to the Chiang Mai gate market, on the south side of the moat, after lunch at our local street cafe. It was just closing as we arrived so we didn't see much, but I did indulge in a 10B bag of curly crackling! On the way back from the market we passed another tourist market on the moat, where the yellow lanterns are, and I bought myself a bag. We did some Internet stuff, drank some iced tea and went back to cool off and read.

At around 6pm we went out to find some cheap pad thai and found a little street stall down a dark alley. It was packed with locals and it seemed to sell nothing but pad thai and salad. We ordered two and they were served on banana leaves, with banana flowers in the salad too. I didn't think Thai people ate pad thai as we were told that it was really just farang food as it wasn't anything too spicy or adventurous, but apparently that is not the case as this little family industry was going like a mill! We walked back into town, stopping off for a chocolate milkshake at Mike's and some mango and coconut sticky rice at Thai Thai kitchen, then onto the Chiang Mai saloon as Daf wanted to see the Liverpool game.

It was pretty quiet but we expected that because of the drinking ban. Then we noticed some jugs and towers of Chang were being served and we seemed to catch on at the same time as everyone else as pretty much every table then filled up. We watched the game, had 3 jugs of Chang then went to bed, anticipating the hangover this time, and drinking copious amounts of water.

Day 15 Monday 17th Dec

Today we left Chiang Mai on the 2nd class night sleeper train to Bangkok. We arrived at the train station by tuk tuk and loaded our ever accumulating bags into our train car. It was a 2nd class 'fan' sleeper car that we were in this time, which meant that we could open the windows to take photos or buy food etc from the passing vendors at each station. We passed through the mountainous jungle which we had missed on the way up, as it was too dark by that point, and by sunset were about 3 hours into the 40 hour journey to Kho Pha Ngan.

The sleeper cars are basically single seats at each side of the cabin, 2 facing each other. When it comes to bed-time the two seats slide together to form a bed and above them a shelf swings down to make the second bed. These are padded with sturdy mattresses and furnished with bedding etc. The only drawback really was that they are built for the diminutive Thai people's frames, not 6'4"farangs and Daf was pretty uncomfortable, I just fitted into the bed and no more.

Day 16 Tuesday 18th Dec

We arrived at Bangkok at 6am, just as the sun was rising. Gathered up all of our belongings and off-loaded. We waited in Bangkok station, Daf had a shower, we had some breakfast from the assembling stalls in the foyer, then loaded onto the next train to take us south to Surat Thani. This was an air-conditioned 2nd class car with meals. It was an 8 hour journey to Surat Thani and the air con didn't work. Again it was a cramped and rather uncomfortable experience.

Once we arrived in Surat Thani we were herded off the train by a Thai man who claimed he wanted to help us book our train back and onward bus and ferry trips to Kho Pha Ngan. He seemed to know where to go to avoid the queues and quite helpful. It wasn't until he insisted that we get in his friend's 'taxi' to take us to the bus station that we got a bit suspicious.

It was a 12 km drive to the ticket office where we were ripped off to the tune of 900B for ferry tickets to Kho Pha Ngan, via Kho Samui, that should have cost is 210B. By this point it was 26 hrs since we had left Chiang Mai and we were tired. We shouldn't have believed them when they told us the night ferry was cancelled and we should have haggled the price, but we didn't. We were taken by air-con mini bus 50 kms to the car ferry terminal just in time to board. We ran onto the ferry and dumped our bags.

It was an hours bumpy ride to Kho Samui, where we had been advised that we should get the next ferry from the same terminal to Kho Pha Ngan. When we arrived and asked the information desk about this they laughed and told us it would cost 700B to get a taxi to the other side of the island to get the last connecting boat to Kho Pha Ngan but that we would probably miss it. At this stage we were pissed off. Being heckled by Thais all round for taxis, ripped off for tickets to the wrong island, people trying to grab our bags and load them into cars and information staff laughing at us.

Yep we were pissed off.

We sat down and figured out what to do. It was 10pm, hot, sticky and we were tired. Once the swarm of taxi drivers had cleared we figured that we'd just stay on the island that night and get the next day's ferry to our destination. A small motorcycle taxi driver offered to take both of us, our 25kg rucksacks and our 6 additional pieces of hand luggage to a nearby hotel for only 40B. To be honest we thought, he's probably on commission, it's going to be a brothel or just a complete dump we'll see what it's like. We got on the back of 2 separate scooters with our belongings. It turned out to be a brand new hotel, down a back street, with lovely rooms, great facilities and for a reasonable price. We stayed the night. We had dinner in a little local place and watched Thai TV.

Day 17 Wednesday 19th Dec

We booked the 12 o'clock ferry to Kho Pha Ngan. An air con taxi took us across the island for free to the pier. Here we waited for an hour and a half in the blistering sun, with 300 other farang, before boarding the high speed catamaran. We loaded our luggage into the front of the boat and crammed into the moulded plastic seating. Half an hour later we finally arrived. Again we were greeted by a chorus of pesky taxi drivers all shouting '

Hello taxi Hello taxi'

We got into a Songthaew, agreed on 200B to take us to our bungalows and waited for it to fill up. The islands roads were far better than Kho Samui's, which were like a building site really. Not so much pot holes as just builder's rubble that had been compacted in areas, washed away in others and is generally covered in sleeping dogs, coconuts and sand traps.

Our resort was much better than Tonga. We'd worried that it would be as bad as the place we'd stayed there with no facilities, dirty everything and a rubbish beach to top it off. It was much better.

My Kho Pha Ngan was on the 'forgettable South coast' as Rough Guides unfairly described it. This was a completely unfair description. The beach was enormous and empty. The water was warm, clear and perfect for swimming, the sand was clean and it was void of other beach users!! Our bungalow was basic but perfect. It was not too far from the main road and shops etc but far enough to avoid the noise from the beat up old cars and hundreds of scooters and songthaews. We swam in the sea when a tropical thunder storm passed overhead and spent the rest of the afternoon sitting in the hammock drinking beer.

Day 18 Thursday 20th Dec

Today we hired a scooter and explored the island. We drove south to see what all the fuss was about with Had Rin, the tourist epicentre of the Thai gulf islands. On the way the scooter failed to cope with the staggeringly steep hills with two passengers. I ended up walking up most of them to meet Daf at the top. Had Rin was nasty. It was full of semi-naked louts drinking all day long, sleeping on the filthy beach and wandering around shouting at each other. It could have been any Mediterranean 18-30 resort. Nasty. We booked tickets for the boat back on Sat, a snorkeling boat trip for the next day and left. We drove up to the top if the island, stopping half way for a flat tyre. The scooter was replaced with brand new model which coped with all of the hills without hesitation. Once at the end of the road at the top of the island we turned around and had a look at the north western beaches. We passed an enormous goanna on the jungle road, then stopped for lunch.

After a very fiery green curry and 3 litres of water to tackle the heat, we headed inland and up to the northern tip of the island. It was about 1 o'clock when we both realised that we'd been riding around all day without any sun block on and were burned. We stopped off in a 7eleven and bought some factor 50, smothered it on all extremities and drank more water.

We had a look at the fishing pier then went to see a waterfall in the jungle. It was a bit disappointing, as waterfalls go, but the walk to see it was interesting. We drove back down through the forest and to our resort. We showered and then decided we really should make the most of the bike, plus it was fun, so we thought we'd risk the looming clouds and visit a nearby hillside Wat. We didn't get far before the rain started. It felt like hail on our skin and the roads quickly became flooded as sand and mud slide down hillsides and rivers burst. We carefully turned round and headed back again. By the time we got back we were completely soaked to the skin so we showered again and went for another swim in the warm sea in the rain!

We had an appalling and overpriced pizza for dinner (all food on the islands seems to be completely over priced and not very good quality) and walked home listening to the millions of frogs in the pools next to the road.

Day 19 Friday 21st Dec

We were booked on 'Munchies' boat trip, which we had been advised was the best snorkeling safari. It was quite apparent that the reason it was thus named was due to the permanently wrecked crew that manned the boat. Our 'host', if you can call him that, was more concerned with rolling himself enough enormous splifs to see him and his mates through the day, than he was with anything else, including letting us know where we were going, what we were doing, when we would get to eat, if there was any water to drink and if there would be any snorkeling at all!

After an hour and a half's sailing up the familiar west coast, our first stop was a waterfall. To get to the waterfall we had to walk through a building site, some people's gardens and a few hotel grounds, then we had to climb up the actual waterfall to get to the top. Since we thought this was a snorkeling safari we were not appropriately dressed for scaling waterfalls nor hiking through building sites. Most of the party were bare foot, wearing swimsuits and little else. The waterfall was not worth it and as soon as we arrived most of us turned around and headed back down for the beach where the boat was docked.

We had a basic lunch of fried rice and water then sat on the beach for an hour while our 'host' enjoyed a smoke. From the beach we climbed onto a longtail boat (very unstable and tend to sink low in the water if overloaded!!) then out to our original boat where we each had to climb over the side onto it. We chugged out a few hundred metres to a rocky outcrop where we were given snorkels, told we would be there for 20 mins and that we had to look at the coral.

I haven't snorkeled before and I kind of hoped for some guidance and maybe shallower water than 10ms, with the possibility of coral and fish. I found it hard to get my mask to stop clouding up whilst treading water with just my feet, once I got it on I couldnít breathe and couldnít see anything because the water was full of stingers and sea lice!! I think I got out after 2 mins, I should have stayed in and persevered but I got a bit freaked out and panicky. Daf stayed in and enjoyed it, apart from the lack of things to see and the 30+ stings he got all over his body. There were 5 of us in the boat, all watching everyone else snorkelling wishing the same as me.

Once everyone was aboard we sailed down the west coast again to a small island where we stopped to look at the beach. Then we were herded back on the boat and fed fruit and Thai whisky with, presumably, coke. We were back at the pier in Had Rin by about half 5 and most of us were sunburned and a little disappointed.

I wouldn't recommend 'Munchies' boat trips from Had Rin pier.

After disembarking we walked into town to catch a songthaew back to our resort. We found one and were told we could pay twice the going rate to leave now or we could wait for more people and pay 50B each. We said weíd wait as we were not in the mood for being ripped off any more. We got in the taxi at 6pm. We waited while all the other songthaew drivers laughed at us (we could understand more than they thought we could) sitting there waiting. Several of them told us we should pay them twice the price to go but we refused. At 7pm we got out of the songthaew and started walking the 3kms back to our resort. We hadn't got more than a few hundred metres when the same songthaew and driver pulled up beside us and said heíd take us for 50B. We got in, feeling quite smug at our little victory, and he took us back.

We had a BBQ buffet dinner at a little restaurant on the main road, which was excellent and good fun too. It was only 89B p/p but if you left any food they charged you another 50B so we made sure to clean our plates. We slept very soundly after showering and applying after sun liberally.

Day 20 Saturday 22nd Dec

Today we left the island. Our ferry was at 12.30pm. We were picked up by air-con bus and taken to the correct ferry terminal. We waited in the farang holding area again, bought some fruit and satay from street vendors and boarded the boat on time. We sat at the front and watched a dodgy WWF film with Vinnie Jones in Thai then The Shooter also in Thai.

It was a 4 hour journey. We arrived an hour early however which was a bit odd. We were all guided off the boat and onto a selection of buses. Everyone was very confused as one bus was going to the airport, one to the train station and a lot of luggage went on different buses to the ones people were riding in.

There was no space on the giant 'train station' bus for us so we sat in a cramped little mini bus with broken air con, the windows shut and some miserable moaning Aussies in the back. We all thought we were actually getting off the ferry in Surat Thani, it turned out we were more than an hourís drive away at Donsak, the pier weíd originally left the mainland from and the one we had hoped not to arrive at again!

An hour later and we stopped at some other pier to pick up one person to go to the airport, which made the Aussies even more pissed off and they started bitching and swearing. We finally got to the train station, miraculously on time and we were told to stand on the pavement for an hour to wait for our train. Daf and I declined and sat in a nearby local street cafe to have some crispy pork and pad thai.

Once fed, we collected our bags and walked to the train station. We waited a further hour for the right train then boarded and found our seats for the 12 hour sleeper journey back to Bangkok. We had not managed to get any seats together but were both in upper bunks opposite each other. There is virtually no space in an upper bunk so neither of us slept well.

Day 21 Sunday 23rd Dec

We arrived in Bangkok at 6am, caught a taxi to Asha guesthouse for 200B (probably a rip off but past caring) and dumped our stuff. We changed out of our filthy, sweaty clothes, showered, ate breakfast, did some laundry then caught the free bus to the Chatuchek weekend market.

We'd heard that it was huge and that a map was necessary. It was much bigger than the Chiang Mai night bizarre and had everything you could possibly want. There was, disturbingly, a huge section for pets. We saw dozens of birds crammed into tiny cages, also puppies, rabbits, gerbils and reptiles. We saw a baby Cayman of all things and lots of snakes and spiders. It was quite distressing to see so many animals in tiny cages, terrified while people poked them through the bars, but no-one else seemed bothered. We bought more souvenirs and presents for people and after 3 hours were so tired and dirty that we left to walk back to Asha. When we got back we swam in the pool and cooled off then ventured out to find some food.

At a street stall a lady was selling several curries, rice and, my favourite, bags of curly pork crackling. She didn't speak any English and our Thai isn't up to much more than 'how much' or 'thank you', so I pointed to what I wanted, it looked like some bits of chicken in a hot sauce with eggplant. She looked at me like I had made a bad choice then pointed to her knuckle and said

"ooh ooh ooh"

which I took to mean that it was hot but Daf thought she meant that it was monkey's knuckles?? I said that it was fine and we went back to eat it. Daf wouldn't eat any at as it was full of bones and gristle. It was chicken...I think, and VERY hot. It could have done with a beer to wash it down but it was still the election weekend so alcohol was banned again.

We stayed out of the remaining heat of the day by packing our bags for the flight home the following day and reading. Later that evening we found a restaurant that was open and had some dinner. When we arrived back at the guesthouse we found that our suits had been delivered. Mine was missing a skirt and Daf's, 2 ties. We phoned the tailors to complain but were told that I had never ordered a skirt and that they would deliver 2 ties that night, then he hung up on me. The ties arrived around 9pm. They are silk but they are revolting. I would not recommend 'Manhattan Tailors' 455 42-46 Rama 6 Rd in Bangkok. They are aggressive and intimidating and clearly are only after money from ignorant farang.

Day 22 Monday 24th Dec

That was our last night in Thailand and it left a sour taste in my mouth. Today we are leaving to go home, after 18 months of living, traveling and working in Australia, New Zealand and finally Thailand.

I am so-o-o-o OVER Thailand in general. Chiang Mai was different as I didnít find that there were so many unscrupulous Thais after our cash. The islands and Bangkok are on the whole riddled with con artists and rip off merchants looking for lost white people with luggage, to swindle. That may sound unfair but in the last 3 weeks I've haggled down so many ridiculous prices, rejected ludicrously overinflated offers and refused people trying to sell me things I donít want nor need. Iím sick of it and I just want to see a price tag on something, rather than brave the question 'how much?' knowing the answer depends on how confident/rich I look, how desperate they are to sell it and how many other customers they have had/will have that day.

We've packed our rucksacks, and have figured out what our warmest clothes will be for the 6 hour wait in Frankfurt and arrival in Edinburgh on Christmas day. We fly at midnight.

Still in Chaing Mai

Day 7 Sunday 9th Dec

We were up early on Sunday morning as we’d kind of arranged to meet up with an old friend of Daf’s mum’s. He was not very well and Daf had tried to speak to him on the phone but had only actually spoken to his Thai wife. She told us, in broken English, that he had an appointment at the hospital at 8am and that we could meet him there afterwards. So we walked across town to try and meet up with Bob.

The streets were empty at that time and we hadn’t had any breakfast but there was nowhere to buy food, which is highly bizarre for Thailand we are discovering. When we reached the hospital we were guided through a maze of open corridors and out to the building where we could meet Bob. We asked if he was around and got blank faces in reply. We waited a while more before going off to find some breakfast, on the recommendation of an old Dutch ex-pat, at a nearby Thai street cafe. Their choice on offer was staggering. Curries of all kinds with seafood, vegetables, pork, chicken, beef and rices and noodles and all very cheap. We ordered something that looked good and had a fantastic breakfast surrounded by locals for only 80 B.

We tried to find Bob again but apparently he was not there so we walked back into town. On the way we stopped off in Warorot market again to pick up some coconut husk spoons and drinking cups that we’d used on the cooking course. I picked up some baggy Thai trousers and a present for my mum then we drifted back through the hustle and bustle of the now chaotic China town streets, to our hotel.

After an hour or two of reading, out of the midday sun, we went exploring for somewhere to have lunch. We happened upon a small street cafe with an extensive Thai menu, translated into English. We had lunch on the pavement and watched the human traffic passing by. Then we stopped into a couple of bars for some jugs of Chang (6% eugh!) and sent some emails. Another wander through town and we found a huge gathering of people in one of the side streets near the Tha Phae gate. It was the Sunday night walking street market and it was full of Thai and Farang all looking for and haggling for a bargain. I thought it was much better than Patpong market. There was a lot more on offer, crafts, clothing, and souvenirs but also street performers from the school for the blind and children dancing in the traditional Thai style. We had some street food, bought a couple of nik naks after haggling in Thai and finally found our way home around midnight.

Day 8 Monday 10th Dec

I have been bitten again. My legs are covered in mozzy bites and I have scratched them in my sleep with my feet. I woke up this morning with blisters and sores from my knees to my feet. I have had to wash them with antiseptic and will be wearing full length trousers after dark from now on.

I had breakfast with PC, the Thai owner of our guesthouse whose French ‘man-friend’ has taught her good English. She is exactly like the landlady in ‘Kung Fu Hustle’, to her staff she is the boss and they don’t mess with her, to her customers she is sweeter than sugar and couldn’t be more helpful. I showed her my mozzy bites and she made me some special Thai tea. I arranged buying some tickets for the Muay Thai that night as she had told us Monday nights were the best night for boxing, as it was more for the actual Thais that attended. I got 5 tickets including some for Dave, Keith and Grant who had just arrived in Chiang Mai that night.

Still feeling a bit rough after all that Chang, I then went back to bed to let the paracetamol kick in while Daf had breakfast with PC and discussed trekking and moped hire. We didn’t have any plans that day so we did some washing and had a Thai foot massage while we waited for our clothes to dry. The Thai ladies that were doing the massage were fascinated by my bites and plastered my legs in a yellow ointment which smelled strongly like Tiger balm, but came in a jar with only Thai writing on it. An hour and a half later, with a free neck and shoulder rub thrown in, I bought some of the magical balm as my bites had gone down significantly and were not nearly as sore.

After our massage we went for lunch in the same little street cafe that we found yesterday, before trying to contact Grant and the boys to let them know about the tickets and that we were being picked up from our hotel to be taken to the Muay Thai that night. Unsuccessful on the Thai payphones, again, we used PC’s mobile to call our mums and wish them both happy birthday, then headed to the boys hotel to pick them up.

We all had dinner in our restaurant before being gathered up in a Songthaew and driven round the hotels picking up other farang who were also going. The venue looked like a bar and we were not convinced that we were in the right place. We went under the blue sheet that hung around the edges of the venue, blocking peering eyes, and sat in what seemed to be the farang seating area. The bar menus were on every table around the ring and all round the edges of the stadium were little bars, each offering hostesses of either the lady or lady-boy variety. We ordered some potent, but bargain cocktails and a few beers and watched as the first fighters limbered and oiled up. They looked to be about 11 years old, were in the 75 (presumably pounds not kilos??) category and were extremely well built! One boy was quite a bit taller than the other and he was very confident in his pre-match dancing and prayer. The littler of the two didn’t dance or pray, just stood in his corner and watched. Our money was on the other taller one.

As the fight progressed it got steadily more enthusiastic as the music quickened. By round 3 of 5 they were seriously going for it and the crowd were right behind them. It became apparent that even though our boy was taller he did not have the bulk and quickly he was defeated by the small boy in the red corner. We were quite impressed. The fights continued and it seemed that it was a night for the underdog as every time our chosen side (usually the bigger of the pair) lost. We were all waiting for the big fight at the end; Billy from England was fighting a local Thai man. Before the big fight however there was the Cabaret show. It was the other side of the stadium from us, near one of the bars, and even from our distance it was obvious that these were katoey dancing and miming to a Boney M disco classic. Slowly as the farang men that ran over to take their photos realised that these were not ladies in the traditional Western sense, they drifted back to their seats looking disappointed and confused, with the very well surgically enhanced katoey down to just their gold lamé bikinis.

Billy from England was up and he made a very convincing display of the traditional dance and prayer. He was slightly bigger than his Thai counterpart and gave as good as he got. The crowd were fairly evenly split between the two sides and when Billy landed on his arse he came back with some good kicks. The match ended with a win for England and a knock out, Billy had proven that we farang can fight full Thai rules as well as the Thais.

After the fight I made the mistake of visiting the toilets. 5B and I was given a handful of pink toilet paper. What do you think of Thai plumbing?

On the way back to town Daf ran off with the camera, as he is prone to doing, and we found him with an elephant in the street. There are a couple of elephants which walk around the streets and bars. You can pay to ride them or feed them but we didn’t this time. We headed to Mikes to get a hotdog and then back to the hotel by 1am to look at our photos for the night.

Day 9 Tuesday 11th Dec

We didn’t do much today, we went to the night bazarre and Anusarn market, bumped into the boys, had some food and bought some things. I haggled a little too hard with one man and nearly made him cry.

Day 10 Wednesday 12th Dec

Today we drove up to Prathat Doi Suthep, on the hill overlooking Chiang Mai, with Grant, Dave and Keith. They had rented a Ute to drive the 3hrs over the mountains to Pai and Doi Suthep was on the way. It is a monastery and sacred temple which is said to contain some of the remains of Buddha. From Chiang Mai it is merely a glint in the hazy sunlight up amongst the jungle on the hillside. It is actually a fully functioning tourist machine – surrounding a beautiful and ancient Wat from the C16th.

The road up was very windy, rivalling anything in the South Island of NZ, and Dave and Grant were in the back while Daf and I sat in the cab and gave directions. Keith’s Thai driving skills were excellent and he made short work of the tight corners and steep climbs in the 4x4. By the time we reached the top and sat down for some breakfast at Mr Pong’s, Keith and Grant were feeling a bit dodgy. They couldn’t eat their breakfasts and were a shade of grey.

We got the funicular up to the temple (bypassing 306 steps) and the two boys disappeared to chunder in the monastery loos. We wandered around the temple for an hour or so, trying to be as polite as possible and take as many photos as possible also. We climbed back down the steps, passing several people struggling on the way up, and at the bottom was the tourist camp. There were dozens of stalls and shops selling Buddha figures, bells, masks, postcards, hideous paintings, food, drink, fabric – pretty much everything.

By this point Keith and Grant were still feeling Dodgy and Dave was contemplating the thought of having to drive, Thai style, on his UK provisional licence to get them to Pai. Keith pulled through and drove us back down to Chiang Mai without throwing up. It was 42oC when we reached the bottom of the hill and Grant and Dave were glad to get into the air-conditioned cab!! They continued onto Pai and we wandered around the city for a while.

We had dinner in a Lonely Planet recommended restaurant, it was OK, then hit the hay as we were trekking the next day.

Day 11 Thursday 13th Dec


Today I woke up feeling like crap. I have been either in bed or on the toilet all day. I ate some rice soup, prepared for me by the lovely staff here, and some interesting Thai mint tea, but then was sick again later. We didn’t go trekking.


Day 12 Friday 14th Dec

Feeling slightly better after a day in bed, we had a good hearty breakfast and were collected by the tour company taking us trekking at 8.30am. We were driven around in the van for about an hour picking up other people who were joining us and headed off for Mae Wan village.

We had booked a one day trek and expected to do a few hours of walking as well as doing some elephant riding, bamboo rafting and visiting a few hill tribe villages. In our party were Jan and Charlotte, a Dutch couple who had just travelled around Laos, Cambodia and Vietnam, two Russian chaps who didn’t say much but took pictures of each other doing EVERYTHING, one of them was called Oleg, and a Frenchman, who called himself a ‘world citizen’, boasted about how well travelled and knowledgeable he was, had a Thai bride and enjoyed making fun of the way Thai people speak English.

We drove for an hour outside of Chiang Mai to Mae Wan where we had an hour of elephant trekking. The elephants had been trained to stop every 30 seconds or so and lift their trunks up for bananas or sugar cane. Conveniently there were raised huts dotted all over the ‘jungle’ where one could purchase a bag of bananas and sugar cane for 20B. We went through 5 bags of bananas and sugar cane. There was a baby elephant that tagged along with us but it hadn’t learned that trick yet and just ate a whole bag of bananas on one go. Our photo was taken by a random Thai girl who popped up from behind a bush in the middle of the trek and she later tried to sell us the photo in a frame made of elephant dung for 100B. We declined.

After the elephant safari we were driven to a Karen hilltribe village. I suppose it was technically a village in the fact that it was a small town and didn’t have any running water or electricity but it was just off a road and not very remote. As soon as we stepped foot out of the bus we were accosted by 4 tiny, bedraggled children all brandishing handfuls of bracelets made from seeds and string and shouting

Hello, 5 Baht
Hello, 5 Baht

and I found it quite hard to say no, after all what’s 5 Baht to me?? (just over £0.005 or NZ$ 0.015). The Frenchman apparently didn’t find it hard to say no, as he advised me to...

Just ignore them and walk away

...so I bought 6 bracelets and the children were all very keen to show me how well they could tie them onto my wrist and speak in English.

We looked at some of the fabrics made by the local women and watched some weaving, then were strongly encouraged to buy some items. We were then driven to a track in the jungle where we walked for about half an hour on a dirt road through paddy fields, bamboo and banana plantations to the Mae Wang waterfall. It was quite a small waterfall and some people bathed in it. Having seen the sewage pipes running directly from the back of the squat toilets in the restaurants, houses and public ablutions blocks into the river, we were less keen.

We walked on through some more agricultural hill land and onto the Hmong hilltribe village. Here we were shown a baby monkey in a small cage, it was orphaned apparently, and some more souvenirs, which we were encouraged to buy. We walked a little further and were picked up by our driver before being driven to the bamboo rafting spot.

We left our precious belongings and shoes etc in the van (except Oleg who proudly boasted that if he lost his camera he would just buy a new one, as only a newly converted capitalist can) and climbed onto the rafts. They were basically about 8-10 bits of bamboo tied together with old bits of tyres and bamboo pegs. Daf stood on the stern with a pole for steering and our Thai raftsman stood on the bow. Charlotte and I sat in the middle and Jan balanced somewhere behind us. We floated downstream quite sedately avoiding any turbulence, until Daf was clocked on the nut by a low hanging tree bough and jumped/fell into the river. He didn’t have any shoes on and hurt his foot on a rock on the bottom as well as scraping his knee quite badly on the way down. He says that his biggest concern however was the prospect of worms living in the water, that crawl into places that worms ought not to crawl. Once back on the raft safely, he remained seated.

Our photo was taken by the same random Thai girl who appears out of nowhere to take your photo and sell it to you, and since we didn’t have a camera we bought it this time, but not the nasty frame. Once down the river without seeing any crocodiles, we dried off and were driven back into Chiang Mai.

We showered THOROUGHLY and changed then went out for some dinner and to check emails etc. When we tried to buy a jug of Chang with dinner we were advised that due to the election tomorrow it was illegal to sell alcohol for the next 2 days. There was also another election the following weekend and the same rules applied. It makes sense I suppose, if you can’t get drunk then you can’t accidentally vote for the wrong person/get too drunk and not attend voting. It’s a bit ironic considering how corrupt various Thai governments have been reported to be and how many military coups there have been in the last few years (17 coups since WWII!!)

Imagine what would happen in the UK/NZ/ Australia if the government banned the sale of all alcohol the 2 weekends before Christmas?